Techniques in Getting Kids to Clean Their Rooms

In a magical world, all a parent would have to do is flick his or her finger, beckon the children that it is time to clean their rooms, come back after quite a while and find both the room and their kids immaculately pristine. But contrary to this non-existent fairytale, we live in a world wherein a parent’s constant battle cry would be for kids to clean up after themselves, their mess and their rooms– and much to a parent’s dismay; it often falls on deaf ears. So much so that parents could only hope one day they would outgrow their fascination with filth and clutter and eventually do some sprucing up.

It has often been said that kids have an affinity with clutter and thrive in a messy room is because they are in the initial years of making memories that would last a lifetime. Unfortunately, seeing a kid’s room in all sorts of disarray would cause any parent to fly into fits of frustration, and as kids could not care less whether their room is spotless, they would leave it as it is. While nagging does not seem to work, chastising them for the mess would not get you anywhere either and would only result in a strained relationship between you and your child. But you do not have to choose between alienating your kid and having them perpetually exist in a mess. In fact, there are techniques that you could utilize which would encourage kids to clean up their rooms or at the very least, help when you do so. It matters not whether they have big rooms or small rooms or whether you are living in a unit in a condo in Manila, these tips are practical magic that would guarantee you results.

1.) Wake your kids’ inner room-cleaner with an alarm they notice

Instead of resorting to nagging whenever you see an errant sock lying about and intermixing with a misplaced toy anywhere in the room, breathe in and try a different tactic by strategically planning what you say. Nagging is ineffective because it does not offer any positive encouragement. What you can do instead is to give them certain incentives if their room is clean. Saying something such as, “When your room is clean, you can go out and play with you friends” would encourage a child better. The “sugar” of your statement can be any regularly occurring privilege but never resort to offering rewards or bribes.

2.) Swallow your need to control

More often than not, the sight of a messy room can flare up anyone’s anger but consider keeping the yelling at bay whenever the mess gets out of control. Decide what you will do at a calm time and not while you are sorting out through the mess in their rooms. Remind your kids that they are old enough and should be responsible enough to keep their rooms clean. Follow it up with a statement that lets them know that if you have to clean it yourself, they may not find their favorite toys in usual places they store it, but where you choose to store them (basement and attics for example). Make good with your promise if you do find that their rooms are still in disarray. You may not be able to control another person, but you can certainly control your own reaction to the mess your kids created and the way they react at the prospect of having to scour through the house for their favorite items.

3.) Give the mess a rest

If you have noticed yourself getting riled and worked up over the mess in your kid’s room, you need to ask yourself what is the worst that could happen if they never cleaned their rooms. Indeed, a lot of toys will get broken or lost; clothes would not be washed and remained stained. At some point, these natural occurrences would annoy your kids, so use it to your advantage. Your primary course of action is to make your children aware of the pitfalls of a messy room and as an encouragement, assure them that you have complete faith they can tidy it on their own. Leave it at that and let nature run its course. However, you must be firm in refusing to help your kids out. Do not replace broken or lost toys, do not pick up their dirty laundry and in any case, do not clean up their rooms yourself. Eventually, they will get fed up and take care of the mess themselves.

4.) Do not be a martyr

Last, but definitely not the least is to never be a martyr. If you think your child is old enough to clean his or her room then absolutely refuse to do it for them. If you continue playing hero mom and rescuing them from their mess, you would likely raise lazy children who would get used to having you do everything for them. Even if you think that doing it yourself may seem easier and quicker, make no mistake, your kid be under the impression that you believe that they cannot handle it and would resist cleaning up after themselves even if you do tell them to do so. Swooping down and cleaning their rooms yourself is counterintuitive to encouraging them to clean up after themselves. Let your child do it on their own, it may not be as pristine and quick as you want it but in time, they will get the hang of it—but they would not if they do not get any practice and if you keep monopolizing their cleaning tasks.